Joey: Chandler, will you just come in already?
Chandler: No, I prefer to keep a safe distance from all this merriment.

Chandler can't help but associate Thanksgiving with negative events in his past, specifically the time when his father and mother tell him they're getting a divorce and that his father has been cavorting with he house boy.

Sadly, I understand this feeling, this association with negative things in the past. I know it's not healthy to do this, but one day out of the year to really wallow isn't such a bad thing. For most of the Thanksgivings in the past 10 years, the memories have been nothing short of unsavory. In 1992, I caught my girlfriend at the time in the act of cheating with another guy. In 1993, I worked myself to the point of unconsciousness. One minute I was in the Berkeley College of Chemistry Computer Facility, the next I was in the Tang Center. A janitor had found me passed out in front of the computer. In 1997, during a phone call home to my father, I heard him cry for what I think was the first time in my life.

In 1998, I went home that year and spent hours toiling over Thanksgiving dinner. Our family sat down to eat dinner and within 15 minutes, my mother simply got up and left the table. My father explained that they were now separated. In fact, he had moved out but moved back in just because I had come home. 18 months later, they got divorced. In 1999, I was scorned and humilated by a girl I had become fond of because I was not Korean enough for her. In 2000, I was embroiled in a secret love affair. Although we spent part of that Thanksgiving holiday together, it was the last time I remember our love being hopeful and without strife or duress.

Despite all these things and the fact that I look back at them, I am thankful for many things. Em and I have been together nearly 11 months now and are doing very well. My father, although occasionally lonely and maudlin, is keeping himself busy with work and writing projects. My mother, having quit her stressful and thankless job, is now in Vancouver working with her sister and is happy and carefree, a side of her I have never seen before. I have good friends who look out for me and always let me know I am loved. I have struggled at times but managed to make a semblance of a living from independent contracting. I am in fairly good health and my once surly and intractable disposition is almost non-existent.

I am enjoying the solitude afforded to me by this holiday. A few days of ensconcing will do wonders for my psyche. So while I may not be celebrating Thanksgiving the way you may think it should be celebrated, know that I am mindful of my past, but content with my present and hopeful for my future. Sometimes, that is all you really need.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.